As the lights come slowly back up they focus into DYNEís room. He is sitting with his back against the wall smoking and looking at pages of paper on the bed. There is a knock at the door and APRIL enters, she coughs for a moment and then finally manages to speak.
APRIL: You didnít think to open a window?
DYNE: Fresh air is highly overrated, I personally believe that its negative qualities far outweigh its good ones, for example did you know that over five million forms of virus are spread through supposedly fresh air? I for one donít want to risk it.
APRIL: So youíre killing them with smoke?
DYNE: Sterilizes the air. (Pause) What can I do for you earthchild?
APRIL: Ummm . . . to be honest we were all wondering if you were still alive in here. Itís been three weeks since the start of term and you havenít left this room since our first night. You order delivery food, and download lesson plans from the net.
DYNE: I like my space.
APRIL: The bathroom is down the hall, at least walk that far.
DYNE: Got a sink.
APRIL: Eeeeew. That is beyond disgusting.
DYNE: I have problems with . . . the outside. Nature isnít healthy, Iíd rather stick here in the warm. Plus there is really no need to leave the room.
APRIL: What about the bet? Youíll never get Carrie into a bed that smells of week-old yogurt.
BRIAN: (From off) Anyone home?
APRIL: Yeah, weíre in here.
BRIAN: (Entering) I thought I was the first one back. Christ, it stinks in here, what is that smell?
DYNE puts his hand up and nods. They look at him for a long moment in disgust.
APRIL: Please Dyne, take a bath. At least go outside for a bit and let the room air.
DYNE: Not a chance, my whole life has been leading up to this moment when I am free of the parental bonds that forced me to clean and to tidy. My parents cannot force me to wash here, and neither can you. As for going outside, I thank you for your concern, but prefer the solitude and sense of zen that this room provides. The outside world is too . . . un-zen.
APRIL: As if thatís a real word!
DYNE: Donít label me with your Ďlanguageí (uses fingers as quote marks)
APRIL: At least wash your hair!
DYNE: Hair acts as our antenna to the forces of the cosmos, I would no sooner break my mystical connection to the powers that guide me than take my own life.
APRIL: But youíre not doing anything, how are they guiding you?
DYNE: You know, thatís exactly what my mother said. You need to relax.
BRIAN: Thatís it, Iíve heard enough. (Picks DYNE up bodily) Iím taking you to the bath and youíre gonna have a shower if it kills you!
DYNE: Nooooo!
He carries DYNE out of the room, leaving APRIL alone in the room. She pokes around on the floor for a moment before something moves on the floor and she jumps and runs from the room, the lights fade on DYNEís room and raise over MARYís. She is sitting with JAMES and ERIC who look confused.
MARY: No, no, no. Listen to me, I asked you to pick up tampons. (Produces a box of sanitary towels) These are NOT tampons. Can you really see me walking around in a nappy?
BOYS: (go to speak)
MARY: No, no talking. I need something to stop me bleeding, you hear me? Women bleed.
BOYS: (Shudder)
MARY: I want you to go back to the shop and get what I asked you for, you hear me? This is not a time of the month to be fucking with me, not if you like your balls where they are because I will personally rip them off and make you eat them if you bring these again.
She tosses the box to them and they shuffle out, JAMES turns around to say something and she gives him a look that makes him think better of it. Leaving her alone, she stomps her foot.
MARY: Men!!! (pause) Alright Mary, breathe out, youíre just getting stressed out because youíve been at uni for a month now and nothing has come between your thighs that isnít powered by a battery. God damn I need a shag. (She takes a long deep breath) calm, be calm. Youíve gone longer than this before.
Lights fade to the Kitchen, they enter and ERIC immediately sits down. JAMES starts making a cup of tea.
JAMES: You know the really scary thing?
ERIC: (Looks up interested)
JAMES: If Aprilís menstrual cycle syncs with Maryís weíll have it in stereo.
ERIC: (Looks seriously panicked)